andrewpauldost:

last year a big group of girls in my class were all talking and this one girl was like “im bisexual” and all the girls like stared at her and then the girl goes “dont worry im only attracted to pretty girls” and i was like did she just burn every girl in here i think she did

(Source: heartis0utatsea)

anotherdoctorwhofangirl:

one time when i was 6 my mom caught me trying to eat pure sugar out of the container so she stopped and said “Would you like to have something even sweeter?” and of course little naive 6 year old me said yes yes i would so she said “smell it first and then decide” and handed me a bottle of straight vanilla extract and of course it smelled like the tears of jesus so i said YES give me and she let me take a huge swig and this is why i have trust issues

(Source: allisonscrown)

australiansanta:

why is the saying ‘build a bridge and get over it’ a thing like do you know how fucking hard it would be to build a bridge 

(Source: australiansanta)

shmenderson:

Can we talk about the word queue

How many of those letters are really necessary

I count one

(Source: theinconstantones)

nevvzealand:

one time when i was younger i had some of that no tears shampoo and i wanted to see if it was legit so when i was in the shower i squirted it into my eye and i think i went blind for like three days

How to Ask Someone Out

  • Step 1: Bump into the person you fancy. Then drop your belongings and yell "YOU WANNA GO?!"
  • Step 2: Continuing yelling until the other person responds to something similar to "THEN LETS GO"
  • Step 3: Lightly push each other around a bit. **This fighting also give you the tiny opportunity to touch their chest**
  • Step 4: Yell "YOU WANNA GO-" then get down on one knee, hold their hand and end with "OUT?!"
  • Step 5: Success! If this doesn't succeed, honey they are not worth it

(Source: ricktatorshipxo)